with a midgit

I just recently had a startling revelation!
The best way to beat children is to beat them with a midgit!!! It's true!! Just pick up an unsuspecting midgit by the legs and use him to beat the child. Think about it! If you beat a child normally, you'll get your anus hauled off to jail for infinity years, but if you beat them with a midgit, then the child can't testify against you because they won't remember you beating them with a midgit. They'll only remember the midgit coming at them in the face! And if the midgit tries to testify, then he'll look bad! Seriously, saying "He beat his child with me!" doesn't sound good at all. And in the case that there are other witnesses in the area, they would shout "OH MY GOD!!! He's beating that kid with a midgit!!!" and everyone else would be like "What!!?" Then they would take out a camera and start recording it, saying "This is the best $%!# ever!" and then it would be on YOUtube the next day and it would become one of its top rated videos, and professional movie critics would say "This is fake", so there still won't be any substantial proof saying that you beat a kid using a midgit. I'm telling you, it's the perfect crime!
ANARCHY OUT!!!